When Daddy Travels With Work – Part Two
I’m nearing the end of my husband’s second stint of being away for two weeks. Then he will be back for a week before he is off again. I spoke last time of how my son struggled with it, this time I was determined things were going to be better.
I wrote a list last time of what I wanted to do differently. I have to confess I haven’t completely stuck to it. But, overall my plan really was to keep us in as normal a routine as possible. I wanted my children to understand that Daddy might be away, but life continues as normal. It’s a learning curve for all of us.
Before he went away, we got the children Daddy cushions. This is a little cushion they each keep in their beds with them that has photos of them with their Daddy. They both absolutely loved their cushion and have taken them to bed every night since he has been away. There have been a couple of nights where both of them separately discarded their normal pillow and used their ‘daddy cushion’ instead.
We have tried to Facetime everyday wherever possible, my daughter has delighted in squealing hello Daddy at the camera. There is such a difference in awareness in her since the last time my husband travelled. It’s just 3 months, but this time she is really aware of her Daddy being away, where as last time it was almost like she didn’t really notice that much. She was just too little to understand. A couple of days into his time away she was convinced he was behind a door, and kept saying ‘Daddy door’ and looking behind the bedroom door to see if he was hiding there.
However, there have been days when my son has been reluctant. We made the decision not to push it. If some days he just wanted to say hello, but nothing else then that is fine. But there have been other days when he has happily chattered to his Dad about his day and showed him the drawings that he done at pre-school.
Our period on our own has been filled with highs and lows. We have had some lovely days out, and the time to bond and cuddle with my children and reassure them at times has selfishly been wonderful. Nothing beats a morning snuggle in bed together and it’s something I am really looking forward to in half term next week. But there have also been the trickier days. I think the decision to be no nonsense about getting on with our life while Daddy is away was the right one. But, I also think my son is doing some testing as to what he can get away with when his Daddy isn’t here too. I’ve had some really out of character behaviour once more. I’ve been hit again and screamed at. I actually went back and read the blog post I wrote last time he went away back in November, and I can see that things are better this time around. Less intense and the periods of bad behaviour less frequent. This is when a mini blogging diary has actually helped me get some perspective! He’s still pushing and I guess he’s still cross that his Dad had the audacity to go away. I can understand that.
Typically last time we all had a stomach bug and this time we have all had a cold. Which has made my daughter’s sleep regress once more – it doesn’t take much. I’ve had a few 4/5 hour nights, which combined with my cold haven’t been fun. But as I write this we have spent the afternoon with a friend and I am feeling upbeat and positive about it all. I have hope that my husband’s next trip away will be even easier still. That being said, I am still looking forward to him coming home this Saturday!
Laura, I think this cushion is a fabulous idea and it’s so cute. It depicts the relationship of your kids with their dad really well and I can see how it would be a fab help to the little ones. I just love the idea of a daddy cushion and it’s such a fab idea for anyone who’s dad is away at work for long periods of time.
Thanks Angela, I love the cushion too and the children are really taken with them. I hope things get easier each time my husband travels x
Ah I really feel for you Laura, what a hard time for you all! I hate it when my husband has to go away with work but luckily it’s not that often, and i find FaceTime really helps. Such bad luck you have been ill on top of everything else. Those Daddy Pillows are a brilliant idea, I’m so glad they help xx
Yes, Facetime definitely helps. When my son is in the mood! It is much easier for them to understand it is their daddy they are talking to rather than just on the phone.
I love the cushions, how lovely that your kids have these to snuggle with. It sounds like you are doing a great job at keeping life as normal as possible while your husband being away. I guess it is a learning process for all of the family. What a nightmare to get colds just when you don’t need it! I bet you have a lovely emotional reunion (and didn’t you get an amazing Tiffany present last time?!)
Ha ha he deliberately said don’t expect Tiffany jewellery every time and in fact I didn’t get any this time 🙂 I did get new Ugg boots though, so I can’t complain. I think keeping things as normal as possible really is the way forward.
What lovely cushions and a great idea. Maybe Daddy would like one with children on too. 😉
Its nice that they can face time, as I’m sure their Dad will be finding it hard being away from them too. Sounds like you have a lovely family.
Amanda. #kcacols
We did get Daddy a cushion with the children’s faces on for Christmas so they all have one and he put it in his case when he went away too 🙂 Thanks for your lovely comment x
It must be so hard to deal with this. I really think I would be a complete mess – you sound like you’re doing brilliantly. The cushions are a great idea. I hope you all get some quality time together when he’s back #KCACOLS
Thank you we had a week and now he’s away again, but after this next stint he’s home for 3 months, so that’s not too bad 🙂
Great idea with the cushions 🙂 I’m so glad it was a bit easier this time, and children are all about testing us and mine now are still better behaved when my boyfriend is around. The tween is testing boundaries at the moment, and I find myself instead of telling him off in an actual argument with him ha…. next year I’ll have a teenager…help?!
Thanks for linking up to #PicknMix lovely
Stevie xx
Eek I am totally in teenage denial! Hope things have got better for you x
Aww I love the idea of the daddy cushion and good to hear it has gone down well! I’m glad its been a little easier for you this time – even on top of illnesses. Things are so much harder to get done when you don’t have an extra pair of hands!
Thanks for linking up to #KCACOLS and I hope to see you back again on sunday when the linky opens again x
Thanks Maria, the cushions really have gone down a treat, I do miss those pair of hands! But I just try and focus on the positives x
Oh Laura, it must be so hard for you to deal with everything when your husband is away. You are a very strong person and I admire you for that. I love the idea of the cushions. It is the perfect companion for your kids during the night. It looks like things are a little bit better comparing with your last post but I understand that it is still difficult. Poor Logan he is the one who is more aware of everything and he misses daddy too much. I hope that you all get the most of the time with daddy now that he is around (or has he left already?). Thanks so much for sharing this at #KCACOLS, 🙂 x
He’s actually away again lol! But after that he’s back for 3 months, so not too bad. I think when times are harder you have to remind yourself that people have it a lot harder than you do – single parents, people with partners in the forces. That being said, I am super glad when he gets back!