Today I welcome Maria from Suburban Mum, one of my lovely blogging friends. She’s a working Mum of two very gorgeous boys and works by day as a Graphic Designer for The Evening Standard. Today she talks about Motherhood and how she and her husband juggle it all.
Pondering Parenthood
When I was pregnant with my first child, I had idyllic ideas of what motherhood would be like. I don’t think anything can prepare you for those early newborn days. Sleep deprivation is such a killer that you can barely function. This tiny human being has the ability to sap every ounce of energy out of and you are just shattered.
Yet although you have barely had any sleep, are struggling to get them to breastfeed and still haven’t quite worked out what each cry means you are overwhelmed with love, completely smitten by this little bundle.
My husband I always knew we wanted to have children, but I don’t think we really thought too much about what type of parents we would be or even want to be. We both had similar childhoods where our parents spent a lot of time working so we did know one thing. We wanted to enjoy our children growing up as much as possible.
Unfortunately, it wasn’t feasible for me to be a stay at home mum, we needed my income to help pay the mortgage and bills so after 10 months maternity I returned to work 4 days a week.
I cried the first day I had to leave my baby to go back to work– we had barely spent any time apart in the 10 months I was at home with him and I found leaving him tough. In time, it got a little easier and what really helped me was knowing he was being looked after by my mother in law, and our neighbour who was a childminder so for him it was like being in a home away from home.
Our son was a happy baby. We were lucky that he slept well and was so easy to look after. He was a real sociable baby and rarely cried. There wasn’t much parenting in the early days, it was more a case of looking after him and ensuring he ate and slept well and was happy.
As he has grown older and with a younger brother added into the mix we have fallen into a style of parenting that seems works for us. I think we have a good balance of fun and discipline we have also set what I hope are clear boundaries so that they know what is or isn’t acceptable behaviour.
I’m certainly not a perfect parent – there is no such thing, right? I think I could do with being more patient with them at times and shout less though.
I also need to remind myself sometimes that my boys (and children in general) simply can’t be on their best behaviour 100% of the time, which is why my husband and I make a good team. We will let each other know if we are being too tough, or if we need to step back from a situation and to calm down before taking any action.
Six years in and there is still so much to learn and teach our children and I know there will be more questions to answer and situations to deal with. We still have the joys of puberty and the teenage years to come!
Whatever happens, we’ll be tackling it together.
You can find Maria online:
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What a lovely post, thank you Maria. I can so empathise with this entire post. I went back to work when my son was 10 months too and cried in the toilets on my lunch break as I missed him so much. I also find I have to remind myself that children have bad days as well as their parents, so it really resonated. It sounds like you are your husband are a great team.
It’s so true, I think we learn everyday as parents!
It’s so lovely to learn a bit more about Maria, thanks Laura. I felt the returning to work guilt too, it’s the worst. I always thought I’d be a stay at home mum like my mum, but it’s just not economically viable. But actually I think that going to nursery has been really great for the girls for their social skills and confidence so that makes me feel a lot better about it! xx